What makes a good father?

I found this old blog I had written quite a few years ago, Zaynah must have  still been in diapers! Anyways I thought I would re-post it here since it still rings true today. Just don’t tell James because he doesn’t like it when I get all mushy on him!  

 

When you think about it what really makes a good father? How does a man learn how to become one? Is it taught to him by his father, if he has a bad father is he pre-destined to be a bad father to his children as well? There is so much negative press given to those fathers who don’t do right, those who neglect to pay their child support or just leave the mother hanging to raise a child by themselves. But hardly any attention is given to those fathers that do stick around, those who raise the kids by themselves or just make sure everything is taken care of. One of the reasons I love my husband so much is that he is a great father, and if you knew him and a little of his personal history you would wonder, how did this come about? While I consider my self a good mother, I had a great role model; my mom went above and beyond the call of duty to make sure we had a roof over our heads and food in out stomach even if it meant having to work two jobs and not spending quality time with her kids. I really didn’t appreciate the sacrifice she made until I became a mother myself. My husband on the other hand was not as fortunate to have a good father role model although he has two men to sit in the father role in his life. Without going to deep into it lets just say one rather chooses another lifestyle over a life with his kids, and the other was emotional distance to say the least. But James has taken on the role of father head on. He is the disciplinary in our home, (I am a little chicken about that), and is a great role model in showing the kids how things are to be done, he great at telling the to suck it up and move on when they fall or don’t do as well as they want ( this is a very valuable life lesson in itself), he shows the kids how a man should treat a woman, and shows Shayla (and one day Zaynah) how they should expect to be treated when they grow up. James is not above washes dishes or changing diapers or even cooking, in fact I think he rather cook then eat what I come up with sometimes! He spends time with the kids, not afraid to be left alone with them, takes them fishing and shares his interest and hobbies with them. The kids are lucky to have him and so am I. So where did this come from? Did he learn it, from what I see as role models around him no? Was it inherited, don’t think so. I believe it is just a true test to the type of man my husband is. When he sets his mind to something he goes at it with all he’s got. He has an incredible ability to learn for others mistakes and decide his kids deserve better than what he had for a father growing up. Shayla, Tai, Zaynah and I love and adore him, and our world is a better place because of him.

Happy Birthday James!

Today is my Hubby’s birthday. I didn’t make him a video like I did for the kids, he really isn’t into things like that and really doesn’t like a big fuss made over him. I will instead post a video dedicated to him (he will hate this!) and just Wish him a

James’ Daughter

After a hard day at work, I finally got the crew home. Shayla informs me that the front door is locked. As we walked around the house to get in the back door which I knew was unlocked I realized that I didn’t have my house keys with me since I didn’t drive my car, but it was going to be OK since I NEVER lock the back door, but alas, it was locked as well as the front door.

Anyone who knows anything about me knows that I of course freaked out, Here I stand with three kids, (one begging to open his new gumball machine), two dogs I can hear inside whimpering to get out since they had been locked up all day and no keys to get those that need to be in, in and those that need to be out, out. So what do I do? What I always do in times of stress and panic, call James. Well James laughed and told me he would be there as soon as he finished up at work, (James speak for it is going to be awhile, you should have had your keys).

As I closed the phone up I thought I hear someone in the laundry room coming toward the door, then the door opened! It was Shayla! While I was whining to James about being locked out the house she had went over to the other back door, used some “hip action” to maneuver her way in the door past the shingles blocking it and unlocked the door. Saving my nerves, the pork chops in the grocery bag, and the floor that I am sure would have soon be wet if the dogs didn’t get outside!

I called James back and told him we had got in, he asked how and I told him about Shayla’s quick thinking. His response? “That’s my girl” Yes while momma is freaking out, Shayla aka “Jamesa” did what James would have done if he was there, just find another way in!

James’ Garden

James has started on a garden for the family. It is a pretty small spot, but he has managed to get a lot planted in the spot. Of course his “lil mini me’s” helped him some too. If I remember correctly there are squash, tomatoes, greens. peas, pole beans, and eggplant out there. I feel like I forgot something….

Here are some pictures of the garden, it is just getting started, and has already proven to be quiet resilient. It has withstood the over watering of Shayla and Tai on a night that James had to work late, and also withstood many a bounce through by our own tigger otherwise known as Pebbles.

Another one of those days!!!

Today has been another one of those days. James had to make a trip to Athens to visit one of his foster kids. Right when he pulls into the place to meet the child, the car breaks down. This is truly a blessing in many ways. First of all He made it to Athens to where he was suppose to meet the child, and did not break down beside the road in the middle of nowhere. Second it was pay day, so even if some bill does not get paid, there was money in the bank to cover the cost of getting the car fixed. And finally, the car was able to be fixed today and we did not have to incur the extra cost of having to pay for a hotel room so James could stay over waiting on the car to be fixed.

I am getting pretty good at seeing the positive huh?

Shouts out to our parents for once again coming through for us, James mom is keeping the kids over night since James has to leave early in the morning for another road trip, and my momma is making sure I have a way to work tomorrow. Mom’s are great aren’t they?

Being spoiled…..

Is when your husband who has worked just as hard as you have comes home, cooks dinner (making sure to make something you will eat), and brings your plate to you while all the time you are playing around on the internet….yes I am spoiled!