One Year Later
13 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
Daddy has been dead for a year now. I am not one to sit around and mourn the lost of someone, it really does no body any good. I rather remember the good things about a person and what they added to my life. Although Daddy is gone, he lives on, in the stories I tell my kids about life when I was growing up, the elephant ear bulbs growing in my yard now that grew in his for 20 years, the cast iron skillet I take out to prepare a meal with at times that once belong to Grannie Crawford and the hat he always wore that now runs around our house on the head of Zaynah while she sings “Going on a safari, Going on a safari!” 
Momma and Lynn were the two that feel his lost the greatest. They were the two that helped to take care of him In the past year, Momma has finally realized she could not go on working in her present health condition (something that worried Daddy tremendously), stopped trying to do it all herself and moved in with my family. Lynn has just about reached her goal of earning her GED and becoming employed, earning a lot of self confidence as well as self esteem along the way.
Both Lynn and Momma have became more confidant and eager to take on new challenges in life, whether it be surfing the ‘net or standing up for what they believe in. I am proud of both of them and I know Daddy would be as well.
Daddy has been gone a year, the best way I know to honor his memory is to honor, cherish, and respect that what meant the most to him.
Life is Short
10 Jun 2009 Leave a Comment
Today would have been my Daddy’s 76th birthday. As you all know last year he passed away. Actually this week is the one year anniversary of his death. This morning when I logged on I checked my facebook page and myspace page and found out that there has been another lost. One of my fellow posters on Bourgy.com also passed away yesterday at the young age of 26.
Life is soo short, and the universe does not guarantee us any amount of time. Kandygirl died yesterday in a car accident, who knows where she was going or what was on her mind when she died. I am sure it was not death. I know last year when my daddy passed away, I was not expecting it. His dying was the last thing on my mind, I was actually on my way to the hospital to sit with him while my mother went to the visitation of her cousins fiance (who has passed the day before), when my sister Lynn called and told me Daddy had died.
I deal with death almost everyday, Monday a mother of a client called to let me know that her son had passed away, he was also young. She began her conversation with ” I am _________, ______ mother, I know you don’t remember me” I replied “Of course I remember you Mrs._________, ” And I did, for one she was always a pleasant person to speak with, another she was also the mother of one of my former co-workers, a person with whom at one time I was very close to and confined in a lot. I lost contact with him when Discount Auto was sold and we move to Advance Auto. I can not even pick up the phone and let him know that I am sorry for his lost.
Another one of my clients passed away this year. There are several letters in her case record that she had sent me, in them she always thanked me for what I did for her, and she always ended them with “I love you” . I never met her face to face, just spoke with her on the phone. I have had several clients, since I have worked at DFCS to die, the majority of them I never met in person, just spoke with them on the phone. When I see the obit cross the desk I always cry. Even if I never met them face to face, it just seemed like they were a part of my extended family. In a way they were, some of my clients I had to take that extra step and actually do for them as they were my family, they didn’t have any other person who would make that call for them or send off that notification so the bill collectors would stop calling. It was just five minutes in my day, no big deal, but it meant the world to them.
You really just never know how much what you do for somebody affects them. How you speak to them affects them. I used to have a client, the first client I actually had, I met him my first day at DFCS, I could always “hear” the smile in his voice when he called, I would answer the phone, and he would ask “May I speak to Ms. Fullwood” I would always respond, “This is Ms. Fullwood, Mr. _________” and he would always say, ” How did you know it was me? ” Just knowing his voice and calling him by name meant the world to him, little did I know I was one of the only people he spoke to regularly. I heard when he died, he was alone in his home and his body was not found for three days.
I guess what this long ramble is trying to say, is you never know when your time is up. You never know what your actions or words to another mean to that person, good or bad. If you care about someone let them know. Be kind to who ever you meet today, for you don’t know what that person is going through and what your gesture could mean to their heart. If someone means a lot to you, don’t lose contact, you both may need each other again one day.
If you have taken the time to read all this just know that I love you . I love you even if you didn’t read all this.
Grief and moving on
29 Jun 2008 1 Comment
